"When one loves, one does not calculate."

Sorry for two posts in one day, but this was just too good to pass up.

After finishing up my essay (writer's block finally disappeared), I decided to take the evening off in every sense of the word. No social obligations, no homework, just me and my book. For my nonfiction writing class we are supposed to read a nonfiction book on Amazon's top 100. I chose the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Now, I know I said I wasn't going to do homework this evening, but this book doesn't feel like homework. It's made me think about every aspect of my life and where I find happiness. It's even inspiring me to start my own set of happiness goals. Anyway, I was finishing up the chapter about money and one of her goals was to "spend out." Now, this spending out concept applies to actually spending money (buying a nice blender instead of a cheap one because you use your blender to make smoothies every day), as well as spending out love and generosity.

The last one really struck a chord with me. For most of my life, I have seen relationships in a calculated way. Since I washed the dishes for you, you should do the laundry. Since I paid for dinner last week, you should pay for dinner this week. And so on, and so on. Anyway, a couple of years ago I realized that love was not to be calculated, it was to be given freely and often. If you put love out there, you will receive love back. While I work really hard to not calculate love and generosity, there is one particular person I have a difficult time with, and that's my mom. I think if my dad was still alive I'd most likely have the same issue with him.

Anyway, reading that line tonight made me realize that I need to fully commit to this strategy. That just because someone is your mom, dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, husband, or wife doesn't mean they are excluded from this rule. You can't pick and chose who you calculate love and generosity for. "When one loves, one does not calculate."